I wouldn’t call it baby fever

 

I know baby fever. I’ve been there. There’s many places where I’ve caught the fever: facebook, other people’s blogs, and the infamous chubby cheeked creature himself in the pew in front of me at church that leaves me no choice but to stare, ooh and ahh over him, leaving me in a slobber induced coma filled with warm feelings of baby bliss, ending in 2 hours of sermon and service in which I have no clue what the preacher was preachin’ ‘bout unless it was, by chance, to go forth, be fruitful and multiply.

What I have now, I wouldn’t call it the fever. It may look like fever to you and my husband, but being on this end of it, I know the difference. You could call it “mama fever” or “9 months to 6 years fever” {my favorite ages}, but it most certainly is not “baby fever”.

The mention of a baby leaves me thinking of newborns. Those tiny little things with tiny little issues like trouble sleeping, the dreaded re-flux, or the big issue of troubles in communicating. I have no fever for that. In fact, I’m trying to overcome the fear of newborns. Of course they’re cute, but they are much too complex for this baby-dummy… will anything ever begin to prepare me for such issues?

What keeps me going in spite of that wonderfully frightening time of life is the absolute yearning from the depths of my uterus soul to be a mother. To see a little one, MY little one, grow and learn and develop and say insanely funny thoughts that pop into their little heads, and to love beyond my imagination and to feel that love in return. That I am ready for.

Before now, the “fear” I mentioned always stopped me when my thoughts seemed to continue on to the point that I was truly contemplating whether we may actually be ready for parenthood. The sleep deprivation, the unknown ailments, the screams of bloody murder, the loss of a social life as we know it… those thoughts stopped the ideas of possibly procreating cold.dead.in.their.tracks before.

But now, it’s different. It’s not the fleeting baby fever that can be easily broken with scary little phrases like “poop explosions”. It’s much stronger than that. It’s determination, mother nature, and hormones all combined in to one huge power packed punch that says “SOMEONE FERTILIZE THIS WOMAN’S EGGS, STAT!”

{Of course, that someone, I’m hoping is my loving husband… =)}

I can no longer be scared out of it. Which is how I knew it was time.

The finances aren’t perfect, the baby bucket list isn’t finished, we haven’t traveled the globe yet, nor are we nearly as mature as I would have hoped for by this age. But we’re ready. We’re up to the challenge. {I say “we” because even my husband doesn’t seem to have the fear anymore – a day I never thought I’d see!} I’m even up to the challenge of getting fat, hairy, and forever flatulent. I don’t mind all that and I would develop a 100 more unattractive traits and scrap the rest of the things not yet finished for one little screaming, projectile vomiting miracle of my own.

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I am so thankful to those of you who voted in the poll on the sidebar! I have a bazillion more questions for you that I’ll be putting into polling form and I hope you continue to give me your input with just a couple little clicks.

The question answered this week: How long did it take you to conceive? {Because, what else could possibly be on my mind at the moment?!} There were 83 votes cast, results as follows:

17 votes (20%) said: “I wasn’t even trying – a nice little surprise”

25 votes (30%) said they: “Conceived the first month of trying”

12 votes (14%) said it took: “3 months or less”

9 votes (10%) took: “3-6 months to conceive”

and the majority with 29 votes (34%): “6 months or more”

I now wish I had provided the answers “still trying” or “still trying after 1 year” or something to that effect. I know it’s not all rainbows and baby dust and having these facts in front of me will truly help to pull me back down to earth when my brain floats off with dreams of delivering 9 months from today. {TRYING desperately to be realistic here!}

But one can always hope =)