my life, the sitcom… a.k.a. how I found out I was preggo!

 

The day I found out I was pregnant had the definite makings of a sitcom. Seriously, thinking back, it could not have been more comical.

I had no clue I would see anything on that little pee stick that morning, in fact I was quite convinced my period was on her way to town. But I did what any good pee-stick-aholic did and went ahead with the little game for the 110th time. I had actually done the same thing the morning before with no luck whatsoever and had no reason to think things had changed since then. But like they say… once an addict, always an addict.

F.Y.I. - I’m going through withdrawals as I type this. If someone put a HPT in front of me this very moment, I would have a hard time taking it out of their hand before I peed on it… =)

 

Anyway – back to my personal sitcom.

Also known as

The day I found out I was preggo:

 

That very special morning started off… how else do you think?

Very special.

Don’t start to gag, I’m not going to make this story into all rainbows and lollipops. It’s not what good sitcoms are made of after all. In this case, I mean special, as in, unusually annoying, unlike most other mornings… making it special.

***To clarify: The morning on the day I found out I was pregnant was not magical. But the day went on to become magical. Just goes to show, don’t let a bad morning ruin your day.

The electricity had been blinking on and off since about 4 a.m. While this is usually not something one notices when sound asleep and in no need of electricity, this was a special morning. Every time our power was restored, our home alarm system decided this was an attack against our home the entire human race, made blaringly obvious by the ear-piercing shrieks that woke us up abruptly from sweet slumber to the fear the end of the world was upon us. Either Hubs or myself would have to drag our sorry butts out of bed and into the kitchen to turn it off.

Sound frustrating?

No. Not frustrating. Special.

 

Hubs had to get up earlier than I did and while I was usually still sleeping peacefully, the alarm went off every minute on the minute while he was showering, leaving only me to turn it off each time.

This also meant the electricity was going on and off that often too, leaving Hubs in a pitch black bathroom, attempting to clean his manly parts should he be able to find them.

Not knowing how much electricity we would actually enjoy that morning, and the fact that the loudest alarm on earth wouldn’t let me sleep in anyway, I got up far earlier than normal. What if the electricity stayed off and I couldn’t dry my hair or see to put make-up on before work? There’s no “calling-in” at my job, so I’d just have to quit – I couldn’t bear to see everyone go into cardiac arrest at the frightening sight of me au natural… =)

Up I went and without thought even, did my morning end of the two-week-wait ritual: pee in a cup, dunk the stick, dump the cup, set the stick aside and go on with my morning because… the stick is always negative.

I don’t sit around waiting with an eye on the clock or watchfully wait for a precious second line. It’s no longer new or exciting anymore {or so I thought}. I usually go about my morning and forget about it, only to steal a quick look when I remember and then trash the ugly negative.

After my ritual, I jumped in the shower where I had my own fun turn at the find the soap in the dark game. What a blast! At least our water heater runs on gas heat and the water was still piping hot despite our unreliable electricity that morning. Find the soap in a dark, cold shower? I hear that game is much less fun.

I got out of the shower in the light and after drying off, decided to reach for that Ilittle pee-stick to go ahead and get my bad news for the morning out of the way. My hand was about 6 inches from it when the power cut off again.

No joke.

I laughed out loud at my luck and then… I actually started to get excited about seeing the results this time. Now that fate wouldn’t let me see it, I was dying to catch a glimpse!

Irony at it’s best.

The electricity came back on after a looooooooong 30 second wait and I snatched up the stick as quickly as I could. With one look, I immediately deemed it negative and the excitement melted away.

 

 

Did I mention that on that same morning, as the home alarm system blared and we took our turns dragging out of bed to tend to it’s ear-piercing cries, I had used my usual reverse psychology on myself – the type that helps me deal with each negative pregnancy test – to tell myself that this is was it’s like to live with a screaming baby and that I was just fine enjoying a little more time without one. As tired as I was and as annoyed as I was with the alarm, that psychology had worked pretty darn well at the time.

To the point that when that when I deemed the stick negative, I lost the excitement but felt some sort of relief for a few more restful nights in my future.

 

 

Why I didn’t throw the test away, I don’t know. A minute later, I picked it up again, I studied it, twisted it in the light, and finally reached the conclusion that there was a definite faint line.

But it was past the 10 minute wait when an evaporation line could have appeared… I was cautious not to let myself get excited but I needed to do another test NOW.

One problem: no urine. I had dumped the cup and I had yet to manufacture any more. My mind was in constant limbo wondering whether it was the true faint line I had squinted so many mornings to see, or whether it was the sneaky evaporation line I had heard so much about.

Of course I said nothing to Hubs and kissed him goodbye for the morning.

As I finished getting ready, I decided to attempt to squeeze a few drops out of the old bladder. It worked! Just enough was in the cup for one more test. I dipped and waited. This time I actually had to try not to stare.

A few minutes later: another definite faint line.

This was it, time for the big guns. I would TRY not to get to TOO EXCITED till the digital EPT showed that magical word: PREGNANT. I had been using my cheap internet HPT’s until the day I actually thought back-up confirmation was needed. I knew I wouldn’t trust my own eyes and had bought a box of digitals just for that purpose. This was it, but again, NO URINE!!

What was I thinking?! I had dumped the cup again, my bladder was definitely parched by now, and it was time to head to work.

I put the “big gun” HPT in my pocket and headed out the door giddy with excitement. As much as I hated the scenario, I would have to take the big final exam in a stall at work whenever nature came calling again. {No… I couldn’t wait till I got home again. Totally not even an option, just in case you were thinking it!}

 

 

Once at work, I didn’t even make it to the bathroom before I had a classic “Lucy moment” with my EPT. Forgetting it was deep in my sweater pocket, I slung off one arm of my sweater after getting too warm and watched the package with “EARLY PREGNANCY TEST” written all over it fly from my pocket to the ground two feet in front of me. With one arm of the sweater still on, I jumped like a mad woman to grab it and stuff it back in my pocket before anyone saw.

 

SERIOUSLY?!!

 

To this day, I’m still not sure what a couple of co-workers caught a glimpse of, but I like to believe they were distracted or at the very least, might have thought it was a tampon.

At that point, I had to get that thing out of my pocket before a second Lucy moment occurred. Thankfully, my morning coffee was kicking in and I was ready.

After doing the deed, I stood in the stall trying to distract myself from the little digital hourglass that appears for 3 minutes before giving you the news. As I pulled out my phone to start cruising facebook, it started ringing. The caller’s face appeared on my screen as I hit ignore, not willing to carry on a conversation in the office bathroom. As I looked away from the face of my husband to the digital face of the EPT, I read the word PREGNANT.

I could have passed out.

Thankfully I didn’t, but the rest of the story is…

 

…TO BE CONTINUED.

 

{Try not to kill me. I’m not purposely trying for a cliffhanger here… this story is just getting a bit long and I’m running out of time. You understand, right?}