I'm still here!... just over there...

Hello, everybody!!!!

We've had a few comments and emails about whether I'm still updating on my pregnancy and our little guy...

The answer: YES!

If you didn't know already, over on my first blog, A Blue-Eyed Boy Met a Brown-Eyed Girl, you can catch up on the all the growing anticipation and excitement we've been going through over the past 8 months. Little man is almost here♥!♥!♥

Some of the preggers posts I've written over the last few months:

• 14 weeks of belly love
• my life, the sitcom – a.k.a. the day I found out I was preggo
• the rest of the “preggo discovery day” story!
• It’s a…….. (!!!)
• BOY oh BOY, we are BLESSED!
• 17 weeks
• the name game
• 19 weeks of belly love 
• 20 weeks of belly love
• in love with a boy
• the nursery diaries, Chapter 1
• sweet friends and 21 weeks of belly love
•  He has a name!!!
• 23 weeks of belly love
• a plethora of tidbits about our life lately
• 27 weeks of belly love and catching up
•  7 months of BARE belly love =)
• to Houston, love Momma
• our little miracle in 3-D
• Showered with {Baby} Love!
• 30 weeks of belly love, unborn child bribes, and video entertainment
• 31 weeks of belly love and a night at the zoo!

And tomorrow I'll be posting on our very exciting Vegas Babymoon =)

We would love to have you all come visit us!!

~Stephanie

did you know?

 

You knew we were having a baby, but did you know WE are having baby?!

 

 

Kudos to the many of you who have already figured it out – you know I wasn’t keeping too great of a secret when I “cast” our cartoon characters to resemble us =)

 

 

I couldn’t hold it in any longer… I can honestly say my heart feels like it will explode with so much joy on such a love filled and GORGEOUS day!

I am over the moon!

{and since I know many of might not be followers of the real me, here’s the link to the BIG REVEAL.}

 

Much love & Happy Valentine’s Day!

a bullet list update!

With so many things happening lately, so many thoughts being thought, and so little blogging happening on my end, it would be hard to put it all in one cohesive post. I’ve decided a bullet-list of points should be the best way to sum it all up for me and for you! So lets go…

• I will be 12 weeks this Friday, February 11th! I am so excited to be finishing up the first trimester and to have another appointment that same day to be able to hear my little one’s heartbeat. While I get excited for each milestone doctor appointment, until I can feel some movement, I will definitely carry a little nervousness that the appointment could bring bad news. THINK POSITIVE!

 

• Most of my nerves come from the fact that I’ve had very few pregnancy symptoms in these 12 weeks. PRAISE THE LORD! Extreme fatigue has been one of my biggest symptoms {which is easing up already!}, followed by some mildly sore breasts, and nausea only if I get too hungry. I couldn’t ask for it to get any better than that! I’ve definitely been blessed with an easy first trimester, I hope it doesn’t come back to bite me in the 6 months I have left =)

 

• Before I got pregnant, I had so much excitement looking at baby items in stores, searching nursery decor online, reading stroller reviews, thinking of baby names, etc. {If you’ve been following this blog, I think you knew that one already!} Now that I actually need to prepare for a wee little one, I have no motivation to get started on these things. I keep telling myself they’ll be plenty of time for those things later. Ha! I’m hoping my get-up-and-go comes back to me in the next trimester.

 

• Speaking of baby names… I’ve been thinking of the names I’d choose for our babies my entire life. I wasn’t the little girl who grew up dreaming of her fairy-tale wedding, but of being a mom and NAMING my children.♥   Where, may I ask, has that girl gone?! Neither Hubs or I can come up with a name that seems remotely close to being THE ONE we could brand our child with for the rest of their life. I guess it was all fun and games until it became real! I did order this book and with the little time I’ve spent browsing through it, it has given me a few ideas. I think once we know “pink” or “blue”, it’ll be easier to buckle down and choose a name.

 

• As for “pink” or “blue”, I just scheduled our appointment at a pregnancy spa for the gender ultrasound at 16 weeks – March 12th!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I AM SO EXCITED!! The doctor will tell us at 20 weeks, but who wouldn’t want to know a month earlier?!

 

• Weight gain so far: zero pounds! Even though I haven’t been sick much at all, I have had very few cravings, no aversions, and NO APPETITE. My stomach will rumble and I’m starving for food, but I don’t want anything. I eventually eat anything I can find to quell the hunger pains. Even stranger for me, I have eaten spaghetti at least 2-3 times a week over the course of my existence. Over the past 3 months, I’ve eaten it… ONCE. And it didn’t hit the spot at all. I just don’t crave it like my non-pregnant self use to! Sunday, I stuffed myself silly at a Super Bowl party, to the point of extreme discomfort. The next morning: 2 pounds lighter. Go figure!

 

• While the scale isn’t going up, my pant size is =) I can still wear all of my pants, but by the time the end-of-day-bloat hits me, I’m unbuttoning my pants and doing whatever I can to get comfortable. I’m hoping to get out and buy a couple pairs of comfortable stretchy maternity pants soon – not necessary yet, but definitely wanted!

 

All for now but I’m sure I’ll think of 10 different things I left out as soon as I hit publish! and you know… with the big 12 week milestone coming up, the blogworld reveal is coming up SOON! I can’t wait to come clean!! What a relief it will be to gab without being anonymous =)

proof positive!

 

 

Can you tell I’ve lost my blogging mojo?!

 

A very busy life at work and home while growing a tiny angel in my womb equals nothing less than exhaustion! But it is such a happy tired♥

 

We did have our appointment this past Monday and even with all the hype we had built up, it did not disappoint. I could only describe the relief and joy to finally see the existence of our little one on the screen as heart bursting joy.

 

♥Meet our little blob!♥

 

I promise to finish this story soon, K?

Much love from the THREE of us!!

my life, the sitcom… a.k.a. how I found out I was preggo!

 

The day I found out I was pregnant had the definite makings of a sitcom. Seriously, thinking back, it could not have been more comical.

I had no clue I would see anything on that little pee stick that morning, in fact I was quite convinced my period was on her way to town. But I did what any good pee-stick-aholic did and went ahead with the little game for the 110th time. I had actually done the same thing the morning before with no luck whatsoever and had no reason to think things had changed since then. But like they say… once an addict, always an addict.

F.Y.I. - I’m going through withdrawals as I type this. If someone put a HPT in front of me this very moment, I would have a hard time taking it out of their hand before I peed on it… =)

 

Anyway – back to my personal sitcom.

Also known as

The day I found out I was preggo:

 

That very special morning started off… how else do you think?

Very special.

Don’t start to gag, I’m not going to make this story into all rainbows and lollipops. It’s not what good sitcoms are made of after all. In this case, I mean special, as in, unusually annoying, unlike most other mornings… making it special.

***To clarify: The morning on the day I found out I was pregnant was not magical. But the day went on to become magical. Just goes to show, don’t let a bad morning ruin your day.

The electricity had been blinking on and off since about 4 a.m. While this is usually not something one notices when sound asleep and in no need of electricity, this was a special morning. Every time our power was restored, our home alarm system decided this was an attack against our home the entire human race, made blaringly obvious by the ear-piercing shrieks that woke us up abruptly from sweet slumber to the fear the end of the world was upon us. Either Hubs or myself would have to drag our sorry butts out of bed and into the kitchen to turn it off.

Sound frustrating?

No. Not frustrating. Special.

 

Hubs had to get up earlier than I did and while I was usually still sleeping peacefully, the alarm went off every minute on the minute while he was showering, leaving only me to turn it off each time.

This also meant the electricity was going on and off that often too, leaving Hubs in a pitch black bathroom, attempting to clean his manly parts should he be able to find them.

Not knowing how much electricity we would actually enjoy that morning, and the fact that the loudest alarm on earth wouldn’t let me sleep in anyway, I got up far earlier than normal. What if the electricity stayed off and I couldn’t dry my hair or see to put make-up on before work? There’s no “calling-in” at my job, so I’d just have to quit – I couldn’t bear to see everyone go into cardiac arrest at the frightening sight of me au natural… =)

Up I went and without thought even, did my morning end of the two-week-wait ritual: pee in a cup, dunk the stick, dump the cup, set the stick aside and go on with my morning because… the stick is always negative.

I don’t sit around waiting with an eye on the clock or watchfully wait for a precious second line. It’s no longer new or exciting anymore {or so I thought}. I usually go about my morning and forget about it, only to steal a quick look when I remember and then trash the ugly negative.

After my ritual, I jumped in the shower where I had my own fun turn at the find the soap in the dark game. What a blast! At least our water heater runs on gas heat and the water was still piping hot despite our unreliable electricity that morning. Find the soap in a dark, cold shower? I hear that game is much less fun.

I got out of the shower in the light and after drying off, decided to reach for that Ilittle pee-stick to go ahead and get my bad news for the morning out of the way. My hand was about 6 inches from it when the power cut off again.

No joke.

I laughed out loud at my luck and then… I actually started to get excited about seeing the results this time. Now that fate wouldn’t let me see it, I was dying to catch a glimpse!

Irony at it’s best.

The electricity came back on after a looooooooong 30 second wait and I snatched up the stick as quickly as I could. With one look, I immediately deemed it negative and the excitement melted away.

 

 

Did I mention that on that same morning, as the home alarm system blared and we took our turns dragging out of bed to tend to it’s ear-piercing cries, I had used my usual reverse psychology on myself – the type that helps me deal with each negative pregnancy test – to tell myself that this is was it’s like to live with a screaming baby and that I was just fine enjoying a little more time without one. As tired as I was and as annoyed as I was with the alarm, that psychology had worked pretty darn well at the time.

To the point that when that when I deemed the stick negative, I lost the excitement but felt some sort of relief for a few more restful nights in my future.

 

 

Why I didn’t throw the test away, I don’t know. A minute later, I picked it up again, I studied it, twisted it in the light, and finally reached the conclusion that there was a definite faint line.

But it was past the 10 minute wait when an evaporation line could have appeared… I was cautious not to let myself get excited but I needed to do another test NOW.

One problem: no urine. I had dumped the cup and I had yet to manufacture any more. My mind was in constant limbo wondering whether it was the true faint line I had squinted so many mornings to see, or whether it was the sneaky evaporation line I had heard so much about.

Of course I said nothing to Hubs and kissed him goodbye for the morning.

As I finished getting ready, I decided to attempt to squeeze a few drops out of the old bladder. It worked! Just enough was in the cup for one more test. I dipped and waited. This time I actually had to try not to stare.

A few minutes later: another definite faint line.

This was it, time for the big guns. I would TRY not to get to TOO EXCITED till the digital EPT showed that magical word: PREGNANT. I had been using my cheap internet HPT’s until the day I actually thought back-up confirmation was needed. I knew I wouldn’t trust my own eyes and had bought a box of digitals just for that purpose. This was it, but again, NO URINE!!

What was I thinking?! I had dumped the cup again, my bladder was definitely parched by now, and it was time to head to work.

I put the “big gun” HPT in my pocket and headed out the door giddy with excitement. As much as I hated the scenario, I would have to take the big final exam in a stall at work whenever nature came calling again. {No… I couldn’t wait till I got home again. Totally not even an option, just in case you were thinking it!}

 

 

Once at work, I didn’t even make it to the bathroom before I had a classic “Lucy moment” with my EPT. Forgetting it was deep in my sweater pocket, I slung off one arm of my sweater after getting too warm and watched the package with “EARLY PREGNANCY TEST” written all over it fly from my pocket to the ground two feet in front of me. With one arm of the sweater still on, I jumped like a mad woman to grab it and stuff it back in my pocket before anyone saw.

 

SERIOUSLY?!!

 

To this day, I’m still not sure what a couple of co-workers caught a glimpse of, but I like to believe they were distracted or at the very least, might have thought it was a tampon.

At that point, I had to get that thing out of my pocket before a second Lucy moment occurred. Thankfully, my morning coffee was kicking in and I was ready.

After doing the deed, I stood in the stall trying to distract myself from the little digital hourglass that appears for 3 minutes before giving you the news. As I pulled out my phone to start cruising facebook, it started ringing. The caller’s face appeared on my screen as I hit ignore, not willing to carry on a conversation in the office bathroom. As I looked away from the face of my husband to the digital face of the EPT, I read the word PREGNANT.

I could have passed out.

Thankfully I didn’t, but the rest of the story is…

 

…TO BE CONTINUED.

 

{Try not to kill me. I’m not purposely trying for a cliffhanger here… this story is just getting a bit long and I’m running out of time. You understand, right?}

2011 is THE year!

 

 

We are truly looking forward to this new year with more anticipation than ever before!

 

and here’s little sneak peek of one the presents I gave Hubs on the day we found out the good news… this is one ornament I don’t think I can “bear” to put away this year =)

 

May your days be happy and bright!

Ours certainly are…

2011 is going to be THE year.

We can hardly wait!

Happy New Year to all you dear friends that have been so sweet to this anonymous girl on this journey. I appreciate you more than you will every know!♥

the two week wait

 

I have SO MUCH to tell you about!

With the holidays, celebrations, parties, news of A BABY ON THE WAY, and then the inevitable…. work, it doesn’t leave much time for the blog. I think of the things I want to document during this precious time in our lives and even though I desperately want to go back to bed for a mid-afternoon nap after getting 11 hours of sleep last night =), I must put some of these thoughts down before they leave my tiny little brain forever.

Some people said they wanted to hear about the whole “two week wait”, which is great cause hey, I LOVE to overshare. I live for it. I’m sincerely glad you indulge me by reading my need for TMI.

For those who have not been caught up in the journey that is trying to conceive a human being – the “two week wait” is the time between ovulation and knowing whether you succeeded with a postive HPT or… dumm dumm dumm… the dreaded red.

We tried for 5 months and I was just beginning to think that every two week wait would end with the dreaded red. This past magical month was no different. I thought the month I conceived, I would know.

I didn’t.

My symptoms?

Next to not even noticeable.

I even proclaimed I was feeling quite PMS-y to the hubs and that today was not the day to annoy me for fun. I had taken a pregnancy test that morning, day 10 post ovulation, and it was negative. I have to say I expected it to be but I was hoping it wasn’t. I had a day off and I sulked all day while feeling quite extremely sleepy and just plain blue.

I must admit, being extremely sleepy all day after sleeping in and accomplishing next to nothing during the day, should probably count as a symptom. It was a little on the odd side.

Another near possible symptom: my breasts did hurt ever so slightly, but nothing out of the norm for the week of my period.

AND it’s worth mentioning that I had a strange feeling in what I thought was my bladder when I went to tinkle a couple times that week, which I’m now realizing was my uterus, not my bladder =)

Other than that – NO SYMPTOMS AT ALL. Nothing to run to the grocery store to get a HPT for, nothing to get worked up over as I had in previous months when I thought I was having tons of “pregnancy symptoms”. It was surprisingly nonchalant, and really SURPRISINGLY, I was pregnant!

Since that time, now at 5 weeks 4 days pregnant, nothing has really changed. The bosoms still hurt, but not the horrific pain I’ve heard others describe. They do not hurt all the way to my arm-pit like I had been told to look for and I really only feel pain when prodding them to make sure they still hurt =)

I had lots of cramping after the positive test, some a bit like period cramping, some not. But none as bad as an actual period. The specific cramp that is different from anything I’ve felt before – which I previously thought was my bladder(!) – still continues on. It’s not a pain at all, just a feeling that makes me smile to know something magical is going on down there.

{I’m trying desperately hard not to think any pain or cramp is a bad sign. I can easily “go there”, get scared, panicked, stressed – but what’s the use. I will be optimistic and happy until told otherwise… or at least try.}

I haven’t had any more “blue” days like the one I thought was PMS, nor have I been moody {or at least no more than usual!} I have continued to be verrrrry sleepy. Functioning, but sleepy. It doesn’t help that I’ve been kicking coffee to the curb :( But I’ll do anything to give this little one a better chance of sticking!

{Confession: I did have the tiniest cup of coffee yesterday. A long Monday at work after the holiday frenzie-fest? It was very much pardoned by my guilt for the one day.}

As for queasiness, I had a complete day of utter dizziness on Christmas Eve. I had to work that day {boo!}. Add in the head spinning chaos every time I turned or crouched down, and I could have easily won the scrooge award for Christmas. Thankfully, so far, it’s been a one day thing. I haven’t had any more dizziness or nausea since and I am praying my good luck continues, though I know it’s still very early.

And the best for last – my BIGGEST symptom of pregnancy – the positive preggo tests I just can’t help peeing on as often as possible…

 

Of course, Husband does not understand this. He does not understand, after many positives and the big blood test confirmation, why I must continue to pee and dip.

My reasoning:

#1. They will expire eventually, so I can’t actually save them for the “next one”. Plus, these were cheap!

#2. It’s a great sign that things are going well when they get progressively darker – which means my HCG levels are increasing.

#3. Finally: after so many negatives, it feels like just plain MAGIC to be able to make a test show a second line. I deserve to finally get my money’s worth out of these babies and add a little happiness to my day =)

 

I took one more test this morning, 24 days past ovulation {not shown} and it was the first to show the second line immediately without waiting for it to appear. Crazy, but it was very exciting. Only one test left! I’ll miss those little positive sticks so much when they’re gone ;)

“barely pregnant”

 

“Barely pregnant”, but… I’m pregnant!!!

 

While I’m pretty sure you already knew that by the many congratulations on the last post that warmed my heart and soul, {THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!}, I really can’t believe it myself and I think I’ll just have to say it a few million more times before it will actually sink in.

 

It doesn’t help my non-belief of my current pregnant status when my first doctor appointment was such a total BUST.

To preface this story: I formerly had a WONDERFUL gynecologist who I loved immensely. Then this year, THE year I planned on procreating, I got a letter from her office letting me know she was moving 8 states away. The woman who I trusted and had developed a great doctor/patient relationship with and who I was excited to have deliver my children, MOVED.

Total bummer.

 

Her letter recommended another doctor in the same building and I decided to take her recommendation when I found myself pregnant last week without a clue who I would be seeing over the next 9 months. I called the office only to schedule the first appointment, which I assumed would be around 8-12 weeks.

I was sort of right. The first doctor appointment was scheduled for 8 weeks, {January 17th can’t come soon enough!}, but the receptionist said they had started doing immediate first visits with the nurse to confirm the pregnancy and to talk over a few educational points – what to eat/not eat, prescription for prenatal vitamins, etc.

I even asked a couple of times - “Really? Isn’t this kind of early? I just got a positive test yesterday…” and the receptionist assured me it wasn’t anything big, just that they like to get the blood work done and get everyone on the right track early on.

I wasn’t going to argue. I adored the prospect of a blood test confirmation and someone else saying those magic words to me: “You’re pregnant.”

 

Though it didn’t actually happen that way.

 

Instead, I waited over an hour to be called back, only to be weighed and asked to pee in a cup. When the nurse came into the room, she asked hesitantly if I had got a positive pregnancy test at home…

I told her yes and immediately began to silently panic. I had sort of half expected someone to tell me I was crazy and not actually pregnant. My fears were coming true.

 

Paranoia. It’s kind of my thang, ya see?

 

She told me their urine test was negative {MUCH MORE panic} but that a lot of home pregnancy tests were more sensitive then theirs.  She sent me down to the lab for a blood test and then ordered a return visit for Monday (today) for a follow up blood test to make sure the HCG was increasing as it should.

I left the office ready to vomit and pissed that I had even come in. I could have been home, excited to be pregnant and enjoying my day off. Instead, I wasted tons of time getting ready, driving in the crazy Christmas traffic, and waiting forever in a busy waiting room just to to have a 30 second appointment to hear the gut wrenching news that I might not actually be pregnant.

I had just taken my fourth “cheap” pregnancy test that morning just to see if the line was any darker over the past 3 days {it was} and the doctor’s office’s tests still weren’t strong enough to see even the faintest line?! I felt like I was getting punk’d and it was not funny.

Two nerve racking hours later, I got the call from the same nurse that the blood test had came back positive with a HCG of 101 – ‘just barely pregnant’ as she put it.

Barely pregnant? Seriously?! An HCG of 101 should be picked up on ANY urine test, especially at the OB’s office – right?

My feathers were ruffled but I WAS STILL PREGNANT and focused solely on that very important point. The nurse had actually been sweet to me the entire time, even if I wasn’t particularly fond of her pee stick reading abilities.

Life goes on and Hubs and I went out for our celebration dinner date and had a great night as future parents♥

 

This barely pregnant lady was HUNGRY and enjoyed every bit of this lobster tail and shellfish!

{I pledge to not continue overdoing it and end up 300 pounds at 9 months…}

 

I learned later that weekend that I probably shouldn’t indulge in quite so much shellfish… how was I to know? I didn’t get my “educational appointment” =)

HCG today? Well over 400!! Progressing very well, the same nurse said.

Bring on that January ultrasound!!

 

P.S. - To answer some of your questions – I won’t be revealing my identity for a few more weeks. {Sorry!} I CANNOT let our families find out the good news through the internet, so it’s a no-go until I break the news to them first… which I’m thinking I won’t feel confident enough to do until around 10 weeks along {Hubs agrees on the timeline!}

How nice it would have been to tell them we’re pregnant at Christmas… but I’m thinking it’s extremely nice just to be pregnant at Christmas! We haven’t told a soul yet. It’s been extremely sweet just to have this time together with such a precious secret between us. We are soaking it up!!

I peed on a stick… =)

 

…and I’ve never been happier!

 

Though it really started with this stick:

 

Can you squint enough to see that very faiiiiiint line?

Praise God!!

All the positive pee stick peeing happened this past Wednesday and it’s been a whirlwind ever since. From finally getting to rush out of work when I was off to head to the mall, find the right present to tell the Hubs with and then home to wrap it and wait not-so-patiently for all the excitement to begin.

To my surprise, I called the doctor’s office and they actually scheduled my first appointment for today! It’s only a visit with the nurse for blood work and education, but just hearing someone else confirm that I am actually pregnant will be such a relief. The first BIG doctor appointment is mid-January and I can hardly wait to see the little one on the ultrasound and to hear a heart beat♥

More to come on the full story leading up to how I found out, pictures of what I gave Hubs to tell him(!), my official two week wait symptoms AND what happens at my first appointment today!

 

Pregnant by Christmas?

CHECK!!!!!!!!

nursery dreams

 

With all the excitement of the holidays, it’s been a huge relief to have so much to keep me busy and to be excited about instead of focusing of what isn’t yet. It really is the most wonderful time of the year for us and we are beyond blessed. While I know God has a plan for us and will bless us with a child in His time, I can’t help but day dream about the future in my little downtime.

I can’t show you my dreams of family gatherings with our children there or having our little one with us cuddled up on a snow day like today, but I can show you the pictures I’ve tucked away for another time. A time when we will excitedly plan for a new life in our family, who will need a fabulous little room in which to live it in.

All pictures were found at Project Nursery as were the pictures on the last nursery post I did. They are all so different; some eclectic, some decorated with bold colors while others used lots of soft pastels, and as always, there are the nurseries that seem to be truly designed for a little prince or princess. When the day comes to build our own, I have no idea what directions we will go in and honestly, I don’t even care at this point like I use to. We all know where the real joy will be found… in the little ankle biter who will spend his or her days finding every possible way to stain every square inch of their carefully decorated space.

…and that will be alright♥

Enjoy!

 

 

 

I think even the most cynical among us could find at least one of these rooms to melt over.

I personally do not know how I even typed this – seeing that I am now just a puddle after looking through the photos of these rooms again. =)

 

Is it just me, or can you smell that sweet baby scent too?!

lighter fluid or rocket fuel?

 

 

I’m really not an overachiever, but count me in when it comes to baby-making.

{Okay, I’ve never achieved a pregnancy yet, but this next part is pretty fun anyway.}

 

On the last post I told you I had officially hit the “high days” with the new Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor and I was still waiting to see a “Peak Day”.

 

I was right on target with the picture on the box again – because day 15 came, and to my excitement – PEAK!!!

On that SAME DAY, I almost ended up not testing. You see, I prefer to pee in a cup and dip the stick. The monitor allows you the choice to test mid-stream if you like, which I tried a few times and it seemed to, ummmmmmm… splash.

Disgusting. Until day 15, when I sat the cup-o-pee on the bathroom floor to dip in and ended up spilling it on the tile and the rug. Now THAT is ridiculously MORE gross than splashing.

To top it all off, I hadn’t even dipped the stick yet. I quickly turned the cup right side up, in which there was only a tiny amount of pee left. Apparently, it was still just enough because I got my peak! Thank goodness I didn’t have to skip that day…

 

For anyone wondering, I got 4 high fertility days starting on day 11, days 15 and 16 were peak fertility days, back down to “high” on day 17 and now back to low fertility.

Let the two week wait commence!!

A nice bonus: everyone says the monitor usually makes you use 20 sticks the first cycle and only 10 on each cycle thereafter. The test sticks run around $50 for 30 – not so cheap, eh? I only had to use 10 on this first cycle, days 6-15. I suppose I ovulated early enough for it not to require anymore, because it hasn’t been asking for one. Thanks for saving me a couple buck safter spending a small fortune on you, Clearblue Easy!!

I like to picture the blinking sign I see each morning when I turn it on and it’s asking for a pee-drenched test stick as it saying “Feed me! FEED ME!!”. You gotta have some fun, right?

 

I was excited to get 6 days of warning of high/peak fertility. We took advantage of every other day. {TMI – I know… and there’s more coming.} In my case, I don’t see that it told me anything new except confirmed what I believed to be fertile days, which is still a very nice peace of mind and a nice break from temperature charting.

You see, I seem to produce copious amounts of… I hate the technical term for this so I made up my own… lighter fluid.

We’re talking about cervical fluid/mucous. I switch between calling it rocket fuel and lighter fluid. Either way, it’s the right type of fluid to rocket those spermies to their desired destination at lightening speed… catch my drift?

I start producing rocket fuel at least a week ahead of time and it slowly increases to BAM!… BABY TIME! At that point, I really know and there’s no denying the threshold is ready. I am thankful for this ability at least, since I’ve read so many gals are low on the rocket fuel.

I noticed it for the first time this cycle the day before I got my first “high fertility” reading on the monitor, so my intuition is right on track which leads me to this: If I’ve been on track with my fertile days and doing the baby dance on time these past months… WHY THE HECK AREN’T I PREGNANT YET AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME/HUBS?!

It seems to me I read somewhere about lighter fluid that was too thick and people used Mucinex {guaifenesin} to thin it – just like the mucous secretions it thins in your lungs to let you cough all that nasty stuff up.

 

My question is – how would you know if it was too thick and needed a little Mucinex to help things along? I haven’t googled this question yet, just started thinking about it and only had just enough energy left tonight to type this post up before bed.

On the bright side – my breasts are sore and my uterus is crampy. It’s far too early for this to be a sign of anything, but it does leave me hopeful =)

And we all know that hope can fuel a person for years…

here we are

 

 

Yup, that’s us. Or more accurately, that’s me.

 

How odd that I Googled an image for “Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor High Fertility” just to include a little illustration on this blog that lacks so much – lo and behold! – I find an image with my exact cycle day displayed.

My “high fertility” status started yesterday on CD 11 and continued today. Needless to say {but I’ll say it anyway} we’ve been doin’ the dirty =) This little machine is most definitely releasing me from the annoying game of guess your fertility. Though I have dumped the temperature charting and microscope licking, I did utilize both today, just for the fun of it without the annoying afterthoughts that come with my overanalyzing female tendencies.

and whaddya know? My temp is very low {definitely haven’t missed the big “O” yet} and the fertility scope was full of ferns(!)

 

I cannot help smiling every time I’ve looked in that little microscope and seen a slide full of ferns. Seriously, it gets me every time. There’s something about the way estrogen ferns in your spit, it’s gloriously heartwarming and reassuring. I do, I really really do, I ♥ my spit.

 

If I still had any doubts about being fertile on day 11 like the little man made gadget swears to me – the fertility scope has now backed it up. Who can deny both pee and spit reassurance? What more do I need – perhaps a stool sample test?

Technology: please don’t go there…

 

But back to me and my day 11 high fertility… Who woulda thunk it?  I thought I was a late ovulater until last month and even then I declared it a fluke. Previously, I would have thought doin’ the dirty on day 11 would have only been for kicks and giggles - not part of some baby makin’ strategy.

But now I know better. Hubs still doesn’t.

He doesn’t know about “day 11” or that our fun wasn’t purely spontaneous. I’m trying my hardest to keep it that way…to not announce the most recent findings of my pee soaked adventures and suck all the fun out of our romantic romps. He needs not know what the little monitor says and that my flirty ways are all part of a plan.

After all, he got the package from FedEx, he put the batteries in it for me, he knows all about it and hasn’t asked the first question since – that’s a man for you. I’ll let him stay that way, all man, while I remain all woman –  a ticking biological time bomb of a woman ready to test even my stool sample if need be ;)

 

 

I’m crossing my fingers we’ll see the pretty “peak” days with the funny looking egg soon.

 

And yes, that is supposed to be an egg, though it looks more like a delicious deviled egg than the kind I’m supposed to be growing. I like my eggs in more of an upright position, ready to get to work hatching a youngin’, not laying down on the job. Perhaps even gold plated would be nice.

 

Or perhaps I’ll take an egg, especially a fertilized egg, anyway I can get it…

 

 

Now that I’ve shared {far too much as usual}, I have questions for you!

 

Tilted Uteruses UNITE!

Question #1:  I’ve previously been told, years ago, that I have a retorverted uterus (a.k.a. “tilted/tipped uterus”) and that it may make conceiving more difficult. {Actually, one doctor said I was tipped – the other said I wasn’t – leaving me not really sure about this one…} I’ve read conflicting articles that it shouldn’t have any bearing on fertility while others say it does. My questions: Any other tilted uteruses out there? Care to share whether it hindered the reproduction process?

 

Empty Uterus Seeks that “Special Someone”

Questions #2: I’ve been forced to look for a new OBGYN :( My previous doctor, whom I would have paid twice the price to see, moved 8 states away. As I am not able to pay the plane ticket to stalk her down and spread my legs {or the bail money I would need after such an act}, I am now on the search for a new girly doc. *Hoping* to be with child soon and past due for my yearly smear, I’m putting much more thought into this than ever before. The practice she use to be associated has several doctors and several midwives {what level/degree/certification the midwives have, I’m still looking into}. Now, I know a room full of woman with vaginas are gonna have opinions on this one – so let me have it – what are your thoughts on the midwife/OB search? Not only for a yearly, but especially when it comes to prenatal visits and delivery.

 

I hope you have the time, I’d love to hear from you!

and if you’d like to email instead, PLEASE DO!

baby-momma {at} live {dot} com

my early Christmas present

 

 

I received an email offering “unsolicited advice” a few days ago that started a fun chain reaction filled with girl gab, online shopping, a big purchase and starting tomorrow morning, I will continue the chain reaction with peeing on a stick.

It’s exciting, really.

I never planned on taking this big a leap into baby makin’ this early in the game, but thanks to Tiffany at & Baby Blackwell Makes Three, I have officially gone technological on the baby business.

Out with the ‘good old fashioned’ way, in with the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor:

 

 

Tiffany actually titled her email to me “Unsolicited Advice” – as if I wouldn’t be open to someone’s help in this matter I know nothing about! ha! Someone else maybe, but I am floored by anyone willing to take the time to offer kind advice to this stranger in a comment on this blog, let alone in email form.

I got her email last Thursday night and by Friday evening, this do-dad was on it’s way to my house via amazon.com. Tiffany has been amazing to answer my endless questions regarding pee sticks and periods. We have definitely struck up a friendship over this monitor and other bodily functions ;)

If nothing else comes of this big purchase, I will at least have a new friend!

ha =)

 

 

Anywho, back to my splurge…

Have you seen this thing? I had my doubts after reading the spill the website has but after reading the hundreds of reviews on Amazon and other sites – holy moly! Here’s my credit card, get that thing in my bathroom now so I can start peeing on it, ASAP!

{You should know you don’t actually pee on it, but on the nice expensive pee sticks that go into the monitor. Details, details. You get my drift how excited I was.}

 

But you ask: Lady, it’s only been 4 months, don’t you think it’s still a little early to be ditching the old fashioned way?

 

I dunno really, but I do know this – it really wasn’t the ‘good old fashioned way’ to begin with.

{No, we weren’t doing some wild Karma Sutra positions. Get your mind outta the gutter ;)}

It was the educationally informed good old fashioned way.

It was reading TCOYF {wonderful book!} and charting basal body temperatures, checking cervical mucous and googling conception tips and tricks. It was peeing on ovulation test strips, getting a big bold positive and still coming up empty handed.

This wasn’t the way our grandparents did it, people. I was already leaving good old fashioned behind in the dust.

And if you’ve read TCOYF, you may remember that she advises you to seek the advice of a doctor if you’ve been adequately charting and trying for 3-4 cycles with no pregnancy.

That’s us. That’s scary.

Some people say that the Clearblue Easy people say to give the monitor 3 cycles of use and TTC before seeking a medical professional’s help. All I could find in my manual was the advice of waiting 6 cycles. I’m giving it another 3-4 and then I’m checking in with the doc.

 

 

To finish my long drawn out story, the day I ordered it, I was at work for 12 hours. For 12 hours I researched and read in every spare moment I had, doing my best to toggle screens so no co-worker would see what I was looking at and be suspicious of my womb woes. It was a Friday and the first day of my cycle, I had to decide quick if I wanted it for this month – even with next day shipping it would only arrive by Monday and you have to start using it no later than the 5th day of your cycle or the whole month is out the window and it’s try again next time…

Talk about pressure at decision time.

I had reached a conclusion and was just about ready to complete my order when I felt the urge for my husband’s approval.

We’re not the couple that asks each other, “Honey, may I buy this?” because we trust each other as responsible, frugal adults with low tolerances for wasteful living.

{Don’t we sound fun?!}

But when I felt the need for back-up, for the most important person in my life to tell me it wasn’t a crazy, desperate, impulse buy – or at least to know that he wouldn’t judge me for my crazy, desperate, impulse buy – I texted. After all, I’d been at work all day, I hadn’t even mentioned to him I was thinking about it, and Lord knows the man had never heard of such a gadget even existing in his lifetime.

 

 

 

Our texts that evening:

{Mind you, I’m texting him out of the blue about this and we hadn’t spoken for most of the day.}

Me: Can I buy a high tech fertility monitor everyone recommends???

{Internal dialogue: “Everyone” as in a really nice girl I’ve never met before except in blogworld recommended it to me along with a few hundred other people that did a product review.}

Him: If it’s gonna help us create an heir to the thrown, you bet.

{Internal dialogue: He’s a nut.}

Me: Really?? It’s $137…

{Internal dialogue: $137 before tax and next day air shipping…}

Him: Does it help?

Me: It has glowing reviews of tons of ppl saying it worked the first month and I got an email from a blogger who reads my preggo blog telling me she was trying longer than we have been thinking they were doing everything right and never got pregnant till the first month they bought this. And we can reuse it for the next 6 kids =)

{Side note: That last part is pure joking. Not that you can’t reuse it, just that we’re not having 6 kids.}

Him: If it helps then I think you should get it.

 

Point blank: I LOVE THIS MAN♥

 

 

 

 

As for the price – I’m telling you READ THE REVIEWS. They are amazing. People trying for months and months, even years and being much older in age and saying the monitor helped them in the first month! Many said they used it as a last ditch effort before settling for the even larger bills from the specialist’s office or when going, that their doctor even recommended it themselves.

I buy products based on reviews – I have a hard time pulling the trigger without a positive review. These reviews sold me.

{I’m not expecting a miracle in the first month of use like many of these people, though I’d love to be pleasantly surprised. It’s also important to note, this machine will not get you pregnant itself, though many have probably had to restrain from showing it much appreciated affection when they finally got their BFP…}

As for Tiffany, she only had to use it one month. Go figure, I’m excited!

 

Does anyone else out there have any experience, good or bad, with this monitor or any of the others on the market? I’d love to here your reviews, as I’m sure others who read this blog would too! Thanks!

not the day I expected

 

I don’t know why I thought this month was different.

It somehow felt different. I had an extra special feeling that I would get my positive pregnancy test yesterday, so when I got a negative, I optimistically thought it was just too early.

Not that there were any pregnancy symptoms, but there weren’t any dreaded red symptoms either.

I had reason to stay optimistic - my temperatures were still up yesterday morning.

Keeping the still high temps in mind, when I saw the dreaded red later that day, I was of course, shocked. There was no warning, no signs at all, just the disgust of seeing red.

 

 

Though there was a little disappointment, I still felt hope that it could be implantation bleeding. OR when discussing it with my husband what he suggested, with his complete lack of knowledge on the topic, might be “prenatal bleeding”. A term he coined from thin air.

When the man isn’t driving me crazy, he’s cracking me up♥

 

 

A few hours later I saw even more red in the stall at work and knew it was just too much for implantation. I actually had to break down and use a tampon - THE HORROR!!

I walked back from the bathroom completely numb.

Then the first random stranger I heard speak after my horrific trip to the bathroom was a 19 year old girl saying she had “went to the doctor and got tested today”…

I listened in a little closer thinking I was going to hear something juicy and disgusting to take my mind off of things like “gonorrhea” or “herpes”… something to make me glad that at least I wasn’t in her shoes. Something really bad to make me say, I might not be pregnant but I also don’t have _______.

Instead, her next words were “Yeah, I’m pregnant” in a pitiful, disappointed but still nonchalant kind of a way.

So much for wishing an STD on a poor, unsuspecting young girl. {I promise I’m not evil…}

 

I felt the wind knocked out of me. It was a kick to the gut when I was already down for the count. I could see myself, in all my dramatic glory, hitting my knees, face up to God, screaming “WHY HER, GOD?! WHY NOT ME?”

{Of course, I didn’t. But if there is ever a movie made about my absolutely fascinating life story one day, Jennifer Aniston will be acting out this exact scene in the way I imagined it, not as it actually happened =)}

Though, I didn’t hit my knees and scream out to God, I did immediately begin praying a prayer I had never felt the urge to pray before and which I felt come from somewhere hidden in the depths of my heart. What I prayed shocked me.

I prayed to God to give me one of these everyday “unwanted pregnancies”. To let one of these young girls go free today, to let one of these poor babies be loved and wanted and taken extra good care of, to simply decide that today, he would put a child into my womb instead of one of the 1000 girls that will bawl uncontrollably out of fear from a positive pregnancy test today. To let me jump for joy when that second line appeared and to let them pray a silent ‘Thank you, God’ when it didn’t for them.

I prayed to reverse the roles and make two very lucky girls happy today.

That is still my prayer.

 

***Disclaimer: I KNOW that not all “unplanned pregnancies” equate to “unwanted pregnancies”. A child is a blessing no matter the situation. I have many friends and family who fall into this category and who are gloriously happy and who’s children are too. I know that even the youngest, single mother can and will be a better mother than I will ever be. I also know that a few will not, will never come to terms with being a parent and will neglect that child from conception to adulthood. That is the situation I prayed about, not the previously mentioned. I honestly do not wish to offend anyone and your open understanding is appreciated!

 

 

So like I said, I was completely blindsided.

It was the fourth month of trying and I just knew it was THE month for so many logical absurd reasons.

• Absurd reason #1 I was supposed to fall pregnant this month: I LOVE the number ♥4♥ For real, love it. It’s always hanging around any of my lucky days in some way. So of course, the fourth month would seal the deal, right?
• Absurd reason #2 I was supposed to fall pregnant this month: I would be 9 weeks along by Christmas, which would be a few weeks earlier than I planned to tell family, but which I deemed okay, just for Christmas time, just because it would be the most magical and joyful time of the year to tell everyone. BAH-HUMBUG!
• Absurd reason #3 I was supposed to fall pregnant this month: if a normal healthy couple has a 25% chance of conceiving each given month, than we had already used up the negative 75% chance in the first 3 months of trying, so this was the month to fall in the good 25% chance. I like my math, mother nature doesn’t.

Now YOU can see and TOTALLY AGREE with my absurd logical reasons why this should have been the month. ;)

At this point in the baby making game, I still have a great bounce back. As well as I can list all the negatives of why thisshouldhavebeenthemonth!!?!!?!, I also do well with listing the reasons why having another month under our belts until that positive test will do a world of good.

They mostly have to do with money – paying off loans, saving more, fixing up our love nest to the best it can be before adding baby birds to it, feeling more financially stable, as well as spoiling ourselves with gifts and trips that I’m sure we would shoot down in a heartbeat once a baby bird comes along.

There’s also the maturity factor. The strong couple factor. Forming a solid bond with the Lord factor. All those little things that will make us better parents the more time we have to work on them.

And I think we’re doing well with this “gift of extra time before child” we’ve been given.

While seeing this time “as a gift” is difficult, I know it’s true. I keep looking back and seeing what we have accomplished in each month we weren’t expecting, and it makes me happy that we are doing so well with God’s plan. It does all make sense. We are still young, we still have goals and aspirations that will fair better without a child for now, and I will rejoice for what I have been given – while still holding on to hope that the next month will be THE month.

Besides, finding out there’s a little Christmas miracle on the way in December will be an extra special scene in the movie of my life. Someone tell Jennifer Anniston to get ready…

=)