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Friday, December 31, 2010

2011 is THE year!



We are truly looking forward to this new year with more anticipation than ever before!


and here’s little sneak peek of one the presents I gave Hubs on the day we found out the good news… this is one ornament I don’t think I can “bear” to put away this year =)



May your days be happy and bright!

Ours certainly are…

2011 is going to be THE year.

We can hardly wait!

Happy New Year to all you dear friends that have been so sweet to this anonymous girl on this journey. I appreciate you more than you will every know!♥

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

the two week wait


I have SO MUCH to tell you about!

With the holidays, celebrations, parties, news of A BABY ON THE WAY, and then the inevitable…. work, it doesn’t leave much time for the blog. I think of the things I want to document during this precious time in our lives and even though I desperately want to go back to bed for a mid-afternoon nap after getting 11 hours of sleep last night =), I must put some of these thoughts down before they leave my tiny little brain forever.

Some people said they wanted to hear about the whole “two week wait”, which is great cause hey, I LOVE to overshare. I live for it. I’m sincerely glad you indulge me by reading my need for TMI.

For those who have not been caught up in the journey that is trying to conceive a human being – the “two week wait” is the time between ovulation and knowing whether you succeeded with a postive HPT or… dumm dumm dumm the dreaded red.

We tried for 5 months and I was just beginning to think that every two week wait would end with the dreaded red. This past magical month was no different. I thought the month I conceived, I would know.

I didn’t.

My symptoms?

Next to not even noticeable.

I even proclaimed I was feeling quite PMS-y to the hubs and that today was not the day to annoy me for fun. I had taken a pregnancy test that morning, day 10 post ovulation, and it was negative. I have to say I expected it to be but I was hoping it wasn’t. I had a day off and I sulked all day while feeling quite extremely sleepy and just plain blue.

I must admit, being extremely sleepy all day after sleeping in and accomplishing next to nothing during the day, should probably count as a symptom. It was a little on the odd side.

Another near possible symptom: my breasts did hurt ever so slightly, but nothing out of the norm for the week of my period.

AND it’s worth mentioning that I had a strange feeling in what I thought was my bladder when I went to tinkle a couple times that week, which I’m now realizing was my uterus, not my bladder =)

Other than that – NO SYMPTOMS AT ALL. Nothing to run to the grocery store to get a HPT for, nothing to get worked up over as I had in previous months when I thought I was having tons of “pregnancy symptoms”. It was surprisingly nonchalant, and really SURPRISINGLY, I was pregnant!

Since that time, now at 5 weeks 4 days pregnant, nothing has really changed. The bosoms still hurt, but not the horrific pain I’ve heard others describe. They do not hurt all the way to my arm-pit like I had been told to look for and I really only feel pain when prodding them to make sure they still hurt =)

I had lots of cramping after the positive test, some a bit like period cramping, some not. But none as bad as an actual period. The specific cramp that is different from anything I’ve felt before – which I previously thought was my bladder(!) – still continues on. It’s not a pain at all, just a feeling that makes me smile to know something magical is going on down there.

{I’m trying desperately hard not to think any pain or cramp is a bad sign. I can easily “go there”, get scared, panicked, stressed – but what’s the use. I will be optimistic and happy until told otherwise… or at least try.}

I haven’t had any more “blue” days like the one I thought was PMS, nor have I been moody {or at least no more than usual!} I have continued to be verrrrry sleepy. Functioning, but sleepy. It doesn’t help that I’ve been kicking coffee to the curb :( But I’ll do anything to give this little one a better chance of sticking!

{Confession: I did have the tiniest cup of coffee yesterday. A long Monday at work after the holiday frenzie-fest? It was very much pardoned by my guilt for the one day.}

As for queasiness, I had a complete day of utter dizziness on Christmas Eve. I had to work that day {boo!}. Add in the head spinning chaos every time I turned or crouched down, and I could have easily won the scrooge award for Christmas. Thankfully, so far, it’s been a one day thing. I haven’t had any more dizziness or nausea since and I am praying my good luck continues, though I know it’s still very early.

And the best for last – my BIGGEST symptom of pregnancy – the positive preggo tests I just can’t help peeing on as often as possible…



Of course, Husband does not understand this. He does not understand, after many positives and the big blood test confirmation, why I must continue to pee and dip.

My reasoning:

#1. They will expire eventually, so I can’t actually save them for the “next one”. Plus, these were cheap!

#2. It’s a great sign that things are going well when they get progressively darker – which means my HCG levels are increasing.

#3. Finally: after so many negatives, it feels like just plain MAGIC to be able to make a test show a second line. I deserve to finally get my money’s worth out of these babies and add a little happiness to my day =)


I took one more test this morning, 24 days past ovulation {not shown} and it was the first to show the second line immediately without waiting for it to appear. Crazy, but it was very exciting. Only one test left! I’ll miss those little positive sticks so much when they’re gone ;)

Monday, December 20, 2010

“barely pregnant”


“Barely pregnant”, but… I’m pregnant!!!


While I’m pretty sure you already knew that by the many congratulations on the last post that warmed my heart and soul, {THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!}, I really can’t believe it myself and I think I’ll just have to say it a few million more times before it will actually sink in.


It doesn’t help my non-belief of my current pregnant status when my first doctor appointment was such a total BUST.

To preface this story: I formerly had a WONDERFUL gynecologist who I loved immensely. Then this year, THE year I planned on procreating, I got a letter from her office letting me know she was moving 8 states away. The woman who I trusted and had developed a great doctor/patient relationship with and who I was excited to have deliver my children, MOVED.

Total bummer.


Her letter recommended another doctor in the same building and I decided to take her recommendation when I found myself pregnant last week without a clue who I would be seeing over the next 9 months. I called the office only to schedule the first appointment, which I assumed would be around 8-12 weeks.

I was sort of right. The first doctor appointment was scheduled for 8 weeks, {January 17th can’t come soon enough!}, but the receptionist said they had started doing immediate first visits with the nurse to confirm the pregnancy and to talk over a few educational points – what to eat/not eat, prescription for prenatal vitamins, etc.

I even asked a couple of times - “Really? Isn’t this kind of early? I just got a positive test yesterday…” and the receptionist assured me it wasn’t anything big, just that they like to get the blood work done and get everyone on the right track early on.

I wasn’t going to argue. I adored the prospect of a blood test confirmation and someone else saying those magic words to me: “You’re pregnant.”


Though it didn’t actually happen that way.


Instead, I waited over an hour to be called back, only to be weighed and asked to pee in a cup. When the nurse came into the room, she asked hesitantly if I had got a positive pregnancy test at home…

I told her yes and immediately began to silently panic. I had sort of half expected someone to tell me I was crazy and not actually pregnant. My fears were coming true.


Paranoia. It’s kind of my thang, ya see?


She told me their urine test was negative {MUCH MORE panic} but that a lot of home pregnancy tests were more sensitive then theirs.  She sent me down to the lab for a blood test and then ordered a return visit for Monday (today) for a follow up blood test to make sure the HCG was increasing as it should.

I left the office ready to vomit and pissed that I had even come in. I could have been home, excited to be pregnant and enjoying my day off. Instead, I wasted tons of time getting ready, driving in the crazy Christmas traffic, and waiting forever in a busy waiting room just to to have a 30 second appointment to hear the gut wrenching news that I might not actually be pregnant.

I had just taken my fourth “cheap” pregnancy test that morning just to see if the line was any darker over the past 3 days {it was} and the doctor’s office’s tests still weren’t strong enough to see even the faintest line?! I felt like I was getting punk’d and it was not funny.

Two nerve racking hours later, I got the call from the same nurse that the blood test had came back positive with a HCG of 101 – ‘just barely pregnant’ as she put it.

Barely pregnant? Seriously?! An HCG of 101 should be picked up on ANY urine test, especially at the OB’s office – right?

My feathers were ruffled but I WAS STILL PREGNANT and focused solely on that very important point. The nurse had actually been sweet to me the entire time, even if I wasn’t particularly fond of her pee stick reading abilities.

Life goes on and Hubs and I went out for our celebration dinner date and had a great night as future parents♥


This barely pregnant lady was HUNGRY and enjoyed every bit of this lobster tail and shellfish!


{I pledge to not continue overdoing it and end up 300 pounds at 9 months…}


I learned later that weekend that I probably shouldn’t indulge in quite so much shellfish… how was I to know? I didn’t get my “educational appointment” =)

HCG today? Well over 400!! Progressing very well, the same nurse said.

Bring on that January ultrasound!!


P.S. - To answer some of your questions – I won’t be revealing my identity for a few more weeks. {Sorry!} I CANNOT let our families find out the good news through the internet, so it’s a no-go until I break the news to them first… which I’m thinking I won’t feel confident enough to do until around 10 weeks along {Hubs agrees on the timeline!}

How nice it would have been to tell them we’re pregnant at Christmas… but I’m thinking it’s extremely nice just to be pregnant at Christmas! We haven’t told a soul yet. It’s been extremely sweet just to have this time together with such a precious secret between us. We are soaking it up!!

Friday, December 17, 2010

I peed on a stick… =)


…and I’ve never been happier!



Though it really started with this stick:



Can you squint enough to see that very faiiiiiint line?

Praise God!!

All the positive pee stick peeing happened this past Wednesday and it’s been a whirlwind ever since. From finally getting to rush out of work when I was off to head to the mall, find the right present to tell the Hubs with and then home to wrap it and wait not-so-patiently for all the excitement to begin.

To my surprise, I called the doctor’s office and they actually scheduled my first appointment for today! It’s only a visit with the nurse for blood work and education, but just hearing someone else confirm that I am actually pregnant will be such a relief. The first BIG doctor appointment is mid-January and I can hardly wait to see the little one on the ultrasound and to hear a heart beat♥

More to come on the full story leading up to how I found out, pictures of what I gave Hubs to tell him(!), my official two week wait symptoms AND what happens at my first appointment today!


Pregnant by Christmas?


Sunday, December 12, 2010

nursery dreams


With all the excitement of the holidays, it’s been a huge relief to have so much to keep me busy and to be excited about instead of focusing of what isn’t yet. It really is the most wonderful time of the year for us and we are beyond blessed. While I know God has a plan for us and will bless us with a child in His time, I can’t help but day dream about the future in my little downtime.

I can’t show you my dreams of family gatherings with our children there or having our little one with us cuddled up on a snow day like today, but I can show you the pictures I’ve tucked away for another time. A time when we will excitedly plan for a new life in our family, who will need a fabulous little room in which to live it in.

All pictures were found at Project Nursery as were the pictures on the last nursery post I did. They are all so different; some eclectic, some decorated with bold colors while others used lots of soft pastels, and as always, there are the nurseries that seem to be truly designed for a little prince or princess. When the day comes to build our own, I have no idea what directions we will go in and honestly, I don’t even care at this point like I use to. We all know where the real joy will be found… in the little ankle biter who will spend his or her days finding every possible way to stain every square inch of their carefully decorated space.

…and that will be alright♥



































I think even the most cynical among us could find at least one of these rooms to melt over.

I personally do not know how I even typed this – seeing that I am now just a puddle after looking through the photos of these rooms again. =)


Is it just me, or can you smell that sweet baby scent too?!

Monday, December 6, 2010

lighter fluid or rocket fuel?



I’m really not an overachiever, but count me in when it comes to baby-making.

{Okay, I’ve never achieved a pregnancy yet, but this next part is pretty fun anyway.}


On the last post I told you I had officially hit the “high days” with the new Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor and I was still waiting to see a “Peak Day”.


I was right on target with the picture on the box again – because day 15 came, and to my excitement – PEAK!!!

On that SAME DAY, I almost ended up not testing. You see, I prefer to pee in a cup and dip the stick. The monitor allows you the choice to test mid-stream if you like, which I tried a few times and it seemed to, ummmmmmm… splash.

Disgusting. Until day 15, when I sat the cup-o-pee on the bathroom floor to dip in and ended up spilling it on the tile and the rug. Now THAT is ridiculously MORE gross than splashing.

To top it all off, I hadn’t even dipped the stick yet. I quickly turned the cup right side up, in which there was only a tiny amount of pee left. Apparently, it was still just enough because I got my peak! Thank goodness I didn’t have to skip that day…


For anyone wondering, I got 4 high fertility days starting on day 11, days 15 and 16 were peak fertility days, back down to “high” on day 17 and now back to low fertility.

Let the two week wait commence!!

A nice bonus: everyone says the monitor usually makes you use 20 sticks the first cycle and only 10 on each cycle thereafter. The test sticks run around $50 for 30 – not so cheap, eh? I only had to use 10 on this first cycle, days 6-15. I suppose I ovulated early enough for it not to require anymore, because it hasn’t been asking for one. Thanks for saving me a couple buck safter spending a small fortune on you, Clearblue Easy!!

I like to picture the blinking sign I see each morning when I turn it on and it’s asking for a pee-drenched test stick as it saying “Feed me! FEED ME!!”. You gotta have some fun, right?


I was excited to get 6 days of warning of high/peak fertility. We took advantage of every other day. {TMI – I know… and there’s more coming.} In my case, I don’t see that it told me anything new except confirmed what I believed to be fertile days, which is still a very nice peace of mind and a nice break from temperature charting.

You see, I seem to produce copious amounts of… I hate the technical term for this so I made up my own… lighter fluid.

We’re talking about cervical fluid/mucous. I switch between calling it rocket fuel and lighter fluid. Either way, it’s the right type of fluid to rocket those spermies to their desired destination at lightening speed… catch my drift?

I start producing rocket fuel at least a week ahead of time and it slowly increases to BAM!… BABY TIME! At that point, I really know and there’s no denying the threshold is ready. I am thankful for this ability at least, since I’ve read so many gals are low on the rocket fuel.

I noticed it for the first time this cycle the day before I got my first “high fertility” reading on the monitor, so my intuition is right on track which leads me to this: If I’ve been on track with my fertile days and doing the baby dance on time these past months… WHY THE HECK AREN’T I PREGNANT YET AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME/HUBS?!

It seems to me I read somewhere about lighter fluid that was too thick and people used Mucinex {guaifenesin} to thin it – just like the mucous secretions it thins in your lungs to let you cough all that nasty stuff up.


My question is – how would you know if it was too thick and needed a little Mucinex to help things along? I haven’t googled this question yet, just started thinking about it and only had just enough energy left tonight to type this post up before bed.

On the bright side – my breasts are sore and my uterus is crampy. It’s far too early for this to be a sign of anything, but it does leave me hopeful =)

And we all know that hope can fuel a person for years…